Evolution: The brink of insanity
by bluewingedwisdom
Summary: Something mad is sweeping through New York. How do you fight an infection when there is no known cure? Even worse, how do you reverse the damage done? Evolution is a scary and world changing process. Is there any way back from insanity?


_"You're doing it wrong."_

I sighed, my shoulder's caving inwards ever so slightly at the sarcastic voice that was deliberately trying to wind me up. He was talking to me. _Again._ It seems like no matter what I do he just won't go away. I can't get rid of him, and believe me, I've tried.

Sitting on the cold floor of my room, I peeked an eye open and glared at the figure sat opposite me. Not that he should even be there. Damn hallucination. "Doing _what_ wrong?" I hissed quietly. The rest of the lair is asleep, and I don't want to be waking anybody up, so I shot him a stern glare instead, hoping he would get the message to leave.

He didn't.

From across the room my burden smirked at me with my own smile, his eyes glinting like a scorching fire beneath the dim candlelight. "_Ignoring me_." He whispered back, his voice husky and sketched with a dark rumble that licked off his tongue. A chuckle escaped him and I opened my eyes fully to scowl at him. He leaned towards me, that ignorant smirk still snaking up one side of his face as the words oozed slowly from him. "_You're doing it wrong_."

I shuffled uncomfortably as the unnerving situation grew. Closing my eyes tight, I ground my teeth together and took a deep breath. I won't be fooled by this. I won't be taken in anymore. If I just keep quiet long enough then maybe he'll leave.

_"Uh-uh, Leo. Not gonna happen." _

I ground my teeth down harder, my shoulders tensing as I could practically imagine him waving his finger at me through the air like some mocking reflection. His laughter broke through my concentration and I couldn't stop myself from looking up and across at the mirage that has stolen my form. This creature that my mind has cocked up looks _exactly_ like me. If it weren't for the black mask he insists on wearing he could _be_ me. Or, he could be, if my brothers and friends could _see_ him. Which they can't. Unfortunately.

"_You know I can hear every train of thought you've got goin', don't you?"_

My resolve broke ever so slightly. It's true. I have no secrets where my own mind is concerned, and being the madness of my brain, there is no secret my hallucination doesn't know, or has the power of knowing. And all the while he has access to my mind, I have no way of blocking him out. No matter what I do he beats me to it, and it's starting to feel like I'm on lockdown in my own head. I tried to force him out, to mentally break him and kick him out of my head, but for every strike and move I make he matches it. It's as if he's stolen more than just my form; he's stealing my identity.

"_You know, you think too much. Isn't that Donny's department or somethin'?"_

"Shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up!" I reached back and grabbed my pillow before throwing it at his face. My frustration grew as he raised an eyebrow and snickered when it passed through him and thumped against the wall behind him instead.

_"Wow, bit of pent up anger. There's something I didn't see." _He scoffed and I grumbled, giving up for the night and standing. Walking over to the door, I groaned, resting my hand on the knob as I knew he was following me.

"Why can't you just go away already? I'm not the one who has mental issues! That's Raph's department."

"_You really want me to go bug Raph instead?"_

Pausing, I stopped for a moment, my hand still frozen on the handle of the door. Did I really just wish this annoying hallucination and medical disposition on my brother? God, I must really need some sleep. Not that this fake me will let me. No sooner do I close my eyes then he's making up some dream world and following me around in that too. When I wake up I'm unrested, and it feels as if I never slept at all. I shook my head and pulled the door open. "No, guess not." I was quiet stepping out into the hallway, but that doesn't mean that my delusion was quite so tactful.

"_Exactly. You know, you're quite a good big brother really. Bit of a sap and an odd's and end's kind of guy, but generally alright. The OCD is fucking annoying though."_

Walking from the hallway, I rubbed under my eyes, the material of my mask stretching ever so slightly as I stifled a yawn. "Was that supposed to be a compliment?" Faint laughter behind me smashed the thought and a frown set itself deep across my face, but I was too tired to try and move it. "And I do not have OCD." My words were a whisper, but I knew my doppelganger heard me. I don't like speaking to this hallucination; it can't be healthy. And when I'm at home or surrounded by friends and family I definitely don't breathe a word to my shadow, no matter how annoying and insistent he gets. Why? Because I don't want to become Don's latest project, and my life is weird enough without adding a mental disorder to the list. Mikey would forever go around calling me some wacky name and Raph questions my decisions enough as it is. The last thing I want if for Master Splinter to see me as unfit to lead the team, or to even be a part of it.

_"You really do overthink things…"_

I entered the kitchen area and sighed, reaching for a glass and filling it with water before I turned, leaning against the counter, and squinted at my doppelganger once more. He's staring at me, the amber flicker in his eyes standing out against the dark depth of the mask, his arms are folded behind his head leisurely and he has that guilty smile swept to the right of his lips once more.

_"So, what do you wanna talk about?"_

"With you? Nothing." I raised my drink to my lips, took a deep gulp and frowned. The taste was bitter and the water too warm considering it had come out of the cold tap. Leaning over the sink, I spat it out and wiped my mouth with the back of my hand, staring at the glass in bemusement before my hallucinations snickers caught my attention once more. "This is your fault, isn't it?"

"_My fault? Hey, don't blame me if your taste buds have dried up."_

"I am blaming you! Ever since you showed up things have been nothing but weird. Shell, just you turning up is freaky!"

"_Now that's just plain rude."_

A growl of frustration escaped my throat before I could stop it. "Rude? You're invading my mind, how the shell am I the one being rude?!"

_"You're yelling and accusing me of something without any proof. That's rude."_

"Proof? Proof!" My grip tightened about the glass and my eyes narrowed as I pointed at the fake turtle opposite me in complete aggravation. "I can see you and other people can't! There's your damn proof!"

"_Sure you're not just going mad?" _

I faltered, blinking more times than I planned to as my brain struggled to comprehend what had been said. "What?"

"_Think about it. How do you know this all isn't just one big hallucination? How do you know you haven't completely lost your nut? I mean, the day you met me you was busting up some guys laboratory, and that stuff did-"_

"That never happened."

"_Didn't it? Or did this never happen? How do you know you're not just some lab experiment too high on drugs to realise what's going on around you? You could be on parade right now for all you know."_

"I'd know."

"_How?"_

"I just would, okay?" I snapped, watching as my hallucination folded his arms and shook his head.

"_You're forgetting, Leo, I know everything about you. Every secret; every desire; every weakness; every whim; every embarrassing situation and every injury of relentless hurt. I've seen it all in your memories. I know every single thought bubble, and I know every single feeling. So why don't you try saying that again. And this time why don't you try to sound a little more convincing?" _

"Leo?"

I jumped and the glass fell from my grip. I cursed as it smashed against the floor and shattered, biting my lip and swivelling round to find Raph in the doorway, both hands held against the wood as he glanced about in confusion, not that I can blame him. His sai's are in his belt where they usually rest, his eyes are tired and there's a fresh black bruise growing on his upper right arm, but other than that he looks just like he does every other night. Scratching the back of my head, I attempted to avoid the puzzling stare he fixed me with.

"What's up, Raph? Just getting in again?"

"Er…yeah." He seemed kind of nervous as he entered the room, but it was more uncomfortable than anxious. Bending down to pick up the shards of glass, I listened as he approached closer. "You're up late, Fearless…thought you'd have been in bed."

"Not tonight. Couldn't sleep."

"_Couldn't sleep my arse. More like wouldn't sleep." _

I closed my eyes tight and ignored the hallucination. "What about you? Out with Casey again?"

There was the screech of a chair being pulled slowly out before he sank into it. Standing, I discarded the shards in the trash and leaned back against the kitchen units once more, ignoring the humorous stare my doppelganger fixed me with as I turned to watch Raph instead. "Yeah, but it was quiet so…"

Another sigh escaped me. It's been like this ever since the Winter's incident. We don't argue as much anymore, and we've both learned a little about boundaries and personal space…but there's still that distance that has to be filled. But how do you fill such a long period of absence in such a short amount of time?"

"_With a shovel."_

I hate my hallucination so much. Ignoring him, I continued fixating my attention on Raph. "So, nothing out of the ordinary then?"

"Not tanight. Case said he's thikin' about takin' Ape out tomorrow so he didn't wanna get too badly busted up for their date." He smirked and I found myself smiling along with him. "What a bonehead."

"Sounds like someone I know." I laughed, and for a moment things where how they used to be between us. But then the silence settled once more.

"_This is painful." _

I had to bite my tongue not to answer my mirage. "So, what are you thinking about doing tomorrow?"

Raph shrugged, tapping his knuckles on the table lazily. "Dunno. Annoy Mike, I guess…maybe get some work done on the bike and workout…what about you?"

I blinked twice, lost for a brief moment. "What about me?"

He looked away, embarrassed for a second. "What are ya gonna do?"

I shrugged. "Probably more training and then rescuing Mikey from you." That stole a laugh from him, but I'm not entirely sure it was wholehearted. Silence settled again, thick and heavy, and I watched with a furrowed brow and a suppressed growl as my hallucination began to circle Raph like a piece of meat, his finger tapping against his chin thoughtfully.

"_That bruise is going to sting tomorrow. Not bad all round though. Good strength, stamina, image and muscle..." _

"H-hey, Raph," he glanced up at me along with my hallucination. I stuttered for a moment, unsure of what to say before a smirk found its way to my face. "Fancy a spar?"

"Now?"

"Why not?"

"Leo, it's two in the mornin'."

"Scared I'll beat you?"

He snorted slightly, hiding it behind the back of his hand as I passed him, heading out of the kitchen and making my way to the dojo. There was the faint sound of a chair scraping against the floor and I couldn't stop the smile passing my lips. Maybe after a quick spar with Raph and training with my brothers and Master Splinter I'll be so tired my mind will finally shut out that damn doppelganger of mine. Who knows? If I'm lucky, it might just be crazy enough to work. Shame my luck's been nothing but bad lately.

* * *

Don't worry, there is a plot line to this story and it will all make sense later :) let me know what you think!


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